Public school bus drivers work with all kinds of kids — introverts, extroverts, defiant kids — and often don’t get to choose who gets on and who gets off.
Our lives are like driving a bus, and the passengers on the bus represent our relationships. Unlike a school bus driver, we have the power to choose who stays and who goes.
The people around us play a crucial role in our well-being, says Monica McConkey, a rural mental health specialist at Eyes on the Horizon Consulting in Minnesota. She says we need to figure out who these people are, how they’re affecting our mental health, and what to do about them.
McConkey categorizes the people on the mental health bus into four types.
1. People sitting at the front of the bus. These are the people we can rely on. The ones who support us, show us honesty, and invest their time and energy into the relationship. They are on the front lines because they are dependable, trustworthy, and will be there for us when we need them. The person sitting at the front of the bus has a positive impact on our mental and emotional well-being.
2. People in the middle of the bus. These people maintain good relationships with us, but they are not necessarily close. They could be acquaintances, coworkers, or casual friends. Although they don’t play a central role, they still contribute to our overall social network.
3. People in the back of the bus. These are difficult relationships, relationships that cause stress, toxicity and emotional tension. We can’t always remove them from our lives (due to work, family ties, etc.), but we can set boundaries. Consider where you place them on the bus – further back so that they are least disruptive.
4. People being kicked off the bus. These are people who cannot see a positive outcome in any situation and constantly nurture negative thoughts. We have tried to set boundaries but they don’t abide by them. Don’t let toxic relationships drain your emotional energy. Some people just need to get off the bus completely.
Boundaries are essential for emotional and mental health: While physical boundaries (like limiting contact) are sometimes necessary, emotional boundaries are important too.
McConkey adds that everyone, including bus passengers, should build support systems: Find people who share similar views and values and join peer groups or communities.
“At the end of the day, invest in relationships that lift you up and have a positive impact on your life. Our thoughts and emotions affect how we function,” she adds. Limit the negative conversations in your life, and the time you spend with the people who talk about them.
Remember, the people we let on the bus have a huge impact on our journey, so choose wisely, set boundaries, and invest in relationships that nurture your happiness.
