What is your relationship with death?
Many of us avoid thinking about death unless a loved one dies or we receive a stark warning about it, such as a health scare.
But to think about death is to explore the value of life.
While death has brought the way we live our lives into sharp focus, it remains an uncomfortable topic throughout Western culture, and one that we are taught to fear from an early age.
So when Australian meditation teacher Luke McLeod invited me to take part in a “death meditation,” I was intrigued and frightened in equal measure.
Through this practice, which he has developed and which he undertakes regularly, Luke believes there is nothing to fear when it comes to thinking about death.
Instead, there is an opportunity to have greater gratitude for what we already have.
In fact, Luke practices the “Death Meditation” regularly every month.
“It’s a really confronting type of meditation, especially if you have the openness to accept and embrace it,” he told news.com.au.
“You use your meditation practice as a kind of simulator, really stripping yourself of everything – family, friends, even material things – and putting yourself in the mindset of being stripped of everything you can.
“It’s not a pleasant thing to do. It’s a mental exercise and when you do it, what’s going on in your head becomes real, so it feels so real, which is fascinating.”
While many people use meditation to help them get through emotional challenges or difficult situations, for Luke meditation first became a practical tool to help him manage typical work stress when he was in his 20s.
“A lot of the people I looked up to at the time were working in business and sports, and a lot of them were meditating, and I found that really fascinating,” he said.
“At the time, I thought meditation was something only hippies did and it was a bit weird.”
“I was really interested because all the people I looked up to had done it. I thought if they did it, there must be something to it.”
“So I started it for that reason originally, but I found it helped me at work. It cleared my mind throughout the day, I procrastinated less, and I got more done. I used it as a productivity tool for almost four or five years.”
Six months later, a rapid series of events – the end of a 10-year relationship, a business failure, a falling out with his best friend and his brother-in-law announcing a cancer diagnosis to his family – has caused Luke’s life to “completely fall apart”.
Feeling that he had nowhere else to turn, Luke dove deeper into his meditation practice, exploring a healing style that could help him release and process emotions and deal with trauma.
“Afterwards I thought, ‘Wow, there’s something really amazing about this practice,’ and ever since that trip I’ve been doing everything I can to teach it and share it,” he said.
“That took me to India and I became more immersed in traditional spiritual practices. Now I’m fascinated by it and want to share it with as many people as possible.”
A man of his word, Luke has spent almost 20 years helping thousands of people around the world, including CEOs, celebrities and accomplished athletes, with meditation and is now one of Australia’s most sought-after thought leaders in the field of meditation and mindfulness.
The culmination of these experiences is Luke’s debut novel, Everyday Enlightenment, a practical toolkit aimed at making different styles of meditation accessible to everyone.
As the title suggests, the novel also offers a deeper exploration of style for those seeking greater happiness, wisdom and enlightenment, including a “Death Meditation” that I was eager to try.
“Let’s wash everything away.”
As I lay out my yoga mat in the living room, Luke’s voice on the other end of the phone soothes me.
I’ve been trying out a lot of meditation and breathwork (which Luke describes as “best buddies” and says we should use them together) lately, and the beginning of the session feels quite similar to some other experiences I’ve had.
I close my eyes, plug in my headphones and listen to music playing softly in the background.
Luke invites me to connect with my breath and I place my hands on my stomach as I inhale and exhale.
“Take a deep breath and exhale slowly.”
We explore different areas of tension in the body – around the forehead, neck and jaw – with the intention of simply noticing what is happening and bringing awareness to ourselves.
Interestingly, as soon as you start breathing into a specific area, your body relaxes and releases.
“Melt into the floor and let your body feel heavy,” Luke continues.
As I enter a deeper state of relaxation, I’m asked to pay attention to sounds: Luke’s voice on the phone, the traffic outside, even the white noise between his words.
Next, I am asked to imagine a familiar room filled with all the people I care about.
As the visualization progresses, I begin to see all of their faces clearly, as if I were having the greatest house party in the world and everyone that is important to me is invited.
Friends, family, coworkers, everyone is there.
That makes the next part so difficult: I am asked to imagine all of these people disappearing, one by one, completely dissolving before my eyes like black ash.
During this part of the meditation, I can actually see a replay in my mind’s eye of people crumbling before me and drifting away into the void like dust.
“Let it all wash away,” Luke continued, then asked me to imagine the entire room going dark and my attention turning further inwards into complete darkness.
“How does it feel to be completely alone right now? Try sitting with that feeling for a moment.”
“Now, experience this sensation, imagine yourself floating in this space, in this void.”
This takes you to a place of great isolation where the noise and distractions of everyday life are completely silenced and you are able to evaluate your life in a very unusual and focused way.
I don’t feel too anxious or worried, but the isolation is very difficult and feels very real.
Thankfully, this didn’t last long and after a while the meditation came to an end and Luke invited me back into the living room to open my eyes.
What is the core of the experience?
Like holding up a mirror, removing all the materialistic elements of life leaves you with perspective on what truly matters.
And it’s not a new perspective either – more like a helpful gentle reminder of what’s meaningful in my life.
To be honest, I was a little worried that I would be instructed to actually visualize the events of my death and funeral, but was relieved that this was not the case.
Instead, Luke invited me to take a moment to consider what life would be like if everything and everyone I hold dear were taken away from me.
“The beautiful thing is to open your eyes and go through that experience and realise that’s not the case,” Luke explains later.
“I still have so many great people in my life and I still have so many things, and it gives me a real sense of gratitude and appreciation for what I have. And when we realize all the things we don’t have, which we stress so much about, it doesn’t seem like such a big deal anymore.
“This is a fairly stoic practice. Stoics talk about practicing poverty, and it’s a pretty extreme mental discipline, and it can certainly be difficult, but I think it’s an important discipline that’s worth trying to do regularly.”
In the days following the “death meditation,” I still felt like myself and didn’t feel overwhelmed or unstable.
Rather, the strength of this experience comes from the subtle and simple insights that remind me of all that matters to me.
And that can only be a good thing for the goal of living a happy, healthy, connected life.
Troy Nankervis is a freelance writer and producer. You can follow him on Instagram.
