FWhen I was a child, skipping along the banks of a stream to my grandparents’ house, I felt (and sometimes saw) something called the invisible or spiritual world.
Sometimes this world was as sweet as the childlike wonder of knowing where a prize Easter egg was hidden. Other times, an eerie flash of perception would alert me that I was in a house where witchcraft was being practiced. Often these experiences were accompanied by vision and a hot or cold sensation in the heart, forearms, and hands.
There were also times of confusion when I strongly suspected that someone was untrustworthy or not telling the truth. As a child, I didn’t know when to speak or what to say, so I blurted out whatever came to mind.
“You’re so loud again,” my mother said in a gentle tone, even though I could tell that I was testing her patience. “You need to mind your own business.”
devilish doorway
My grandmother, a wise and loving Christian woman, had a strong influence on me. She was sitting on her front porch for dinner, shelling peas, her eyes shining with light, and she was talking about the many people Jesus helped and how the demons and religious leaders hated Him. When he spoke, my heart was on fire.
As a teenager, I became interested in the supernatural realm and began to satisfy that curiosity with books about the occult. I loved God, but I also had a disobedient streak. And although the subject matter was terrifying, I gradually found myself drawn in. I bought a Ouija board and became interested in clairvoyance, the ability to know things about people and places now or in the future based on heightened perception.
When the door to the demon world opened wide, a terrible incident occurred. At one point, I was sleeping with my Bible, believing I was hearing demonic voices in my room. Another night, unable to sleep, I kept looking at my bedroom door and felt someone standing right outside. Another time, I woke up in a cold sweat as I felt a tug on my nightgown and heard a low, menacing growl in my ear.
Still, the idea of accessing supernatural powers remained appealing. After enduring sexual abuse as a child and struggling with relationships, drinking, and rebellious urges as a teenager, I longed for some form of empowerment and escape. And in later years, I was drawn to the promise of self-healing and the opportunity to heal others.
Looking back, I see that Satan was preparing me to be seduced by one of the greatest dangers of New Age thinking: the false promise of peace through spiritual enlightenment. Christians often associate New Age philosophy with things like crystal balls, Ouija boards, and seances, but most New Ages see these activities as an imitation of more mature paths of self-discovery. Many of them are medical workers, environmentalists, engineers, and teachers. Their global success and sophistication is fascinating. Their lives appear to be pillars of peace and stability.
In my mid-twenties, I began studying Reiki. This is a New Age healing technique that uses various symbols and hand positions to channel energy from the universe. (The word itself means “cosmic life energy.”) At the time, I was longing for peace and longing for spiritual awakening. Wanting to belong, I eagerly accepted the idea that Satan was a man-made myth invented to keep people in religious bondage. I dedicated myself to letting go of the negativity within me – old wounds, limiting beliefs, and fears – so that the healing power of the universe could flow unhindered.
During my Reiki sessions, I met many truly kind and caring people, people who nurtured and loved me. But my conscience was never completely at peace. Even if I wasn’t following Jesus, my heart cried every time I heard someone attribute their blessings to some nameless universe.
By the time I became a Reiki Master, I was also a single mother. And, as many new parents can attest, the feelings of anxiety and awe that come with parenthood can spark an interest in religion. I went to church from time to time, but I couldn’t settle down anywhere. Next door to me lived an elderly couple raising their young granddaughter. She invited me to her church, where I finally found my soul’s home. I took Beth Moore’s Breaking Free Bible Study and was baptized.
Now I was straddling two worlds. On Saturdays, I offered Reiki sessions and taught classes at a friend’s shop. My ability to receive people’s visions and impressions attracted some attention. “Are you a medium?” a customer in the store asks me. “There will be a psychic seminar in town next week. You will be able to make a lot of money.”
However, I began to feel more and more uncomfortable with the world of Reiki. Every day I felt the burden of conviction to tell people that any healing they experienced during a Reiki session was a gift from God, not me. He was the answer to all their questions, problems and desires.
But it was forbidden to say this. New Age philosophy treats this world as an illusion, a school for our spiritual mastery where many gods, spirits, and guides are praised. It is permissible to speak of Jesus as one God among many, equal in power and authority. But speaking of him as the way, the truth, and the life is out of the question.
Despite my discomfort with Reiki, I remained strongly attached to the joy (and reward) of helping people. I was afraid to give it up for Jesus. What would happen if people stopped looking to me for healing and returned to the path I had drifted down? So I came up with a compromise that seemed fair. Although I stopped teaching the Reiki method and spoke to my students about my faith in Jesus, I continued to offer Reiki sessions to my clients and asked for the Holy Spirit to work beneath the surface.
power of jesus name
Eventually, I had to face the folly of serving two masters. The crisis came when a friend of hers asked if she could teach her and another woman Reiki. Just before she called, my hand felt hot and I thought maybe this was God’s forgiveness. Since this friend knew about my faith, she felt confident that I could speak freely about Jesus and agreed to join the class.
The first session went smoothly enough, but that night I had a terrifying dream of two witches attacking me. I shouted the name of Jesus and they immediately disappeared. I woke up from my dream, terrified and in awe of a name so powerful that demonic forces fled upon hearing it.
The next day, I told the women that I would no longer be teaching the class. “I don’t need to teach you any more,” I said. “You need Jesus.” They burst into tears and anger, accusing me of my arrogance, stupidity, and lack of empathy. In the end, I was asked to leave. Over the next week, I endured their insults and expected exclusion from certain previously friendly circles. But at the same time, I felt an incredible sense of relief. I tore up all my Reiki books and asked God for forgiveness. That was over 15 years ago and I have not practiced Reiki since then.
New Age is the old Satan toying with our deepest desires for peace, connection, abundance, and immortality. In contrast, the Christian path of obedience, sacrifice, and suffering may seem foolish, even self-deprecating. That’s why I praise the name of Jesus, who gave his life not for spiritual leaders, but for the weak and hurting sinners he so loved.
Nicole Watt is a freelance writer and homeschooling mother living in Northern Ireland.
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