I have a hard time letting things go, especially when it comes to dating. I tend to develop strong emotions quickly, and within minutes of meeting a new person, I’ll have a complete picture of our future together. Suffice it to say, I’ve spent most of my life in a constant state of longing and heartbreak.
Just recently things didn’t work out with someone I was excited about and I was having a hard time coming to terms with how everything had turned out. I’ve spent a lot of time falling down mental rabbit holes — were I reading the signs all wrong? did I do something wrong? When will I be able to trust people again?
I know that most wounds can heal with time (and therapy), but in the meantime, I was looking for something that could speed up that healing process. That’s why I decided to try an integrative energy session at The Well, a wellness center I frequent in New York City that offers a variety of healing practices. Its practitioners combine modern medicine with ancient healing techniques such as acupuncture, Reiki, and Chinese medicine. I felt a strong desire to cleanse my space of negative energy (I had already tried Palo Santo), so I decided to make an appointment.
What happens in an integrated energy session?
During your session, your practitioner will intuitively customize your unique energy healing experience. They will determine the best method, or combination of methods, to support your nervous system by asking you a few questions about what draws you to it. These techniques include tapping, Reiki, craniosacral therapy, crystal healing, sound healing, or the nervous system. Language programming (NLP). The session isn’t cheap at $515 for 90 minutes, but the extra time spent in a locker room with a sauna, plush robes, healthy snacks, and a steam shower justifies the cost. can. If you’re looking for an alternative, there are several options available. In New York, check out Sage+Sound. The session costs $315. In Los Angeles, you can visit Aura Gods for a $175 session and La Lune Healing for a $145 in-person session or $80 virtual session. If you live in Chicago, Katie Bellamy offers in-person or virtual sessions for $125.
My session took place in a private room with a massage table. Practitioner Lisa Caruso, an intuitive healer, Reiki master, and breathwork facilitator, explained that she starts with 30 minutes of breathwork, followed by 30 minutes of Reiki. She put on upbeat music and instructed me to breathe into her belly for 6 seconds, then breathe into her heart for 6 seconds, then breathe out for 6 seconds. The idea behind Breathwork is to breathe in the good things you want in your life (positivity, joy, love) and breathe out the things that are blocking and holding you back.
I had been warned that there would be a lot of emotions, but I didn’t expect to have tears streaming down my face throughout the session. My heart brought a lot of old wounds to the surface, from not feeling beautiful enough as a child to struggling with food as a teenager. I saw in my mind a situation that reminded me of people I loved, especially those who did not reciprocate my feelings for them. It was incredibly painful to relive these past experiences, but it was also cathartic to see how things happened.
It wasn’t him that hurt me, it was the negative stories I told myself after he left.
After completing the breathing exercises, we moved on to the Reiki portion of the session. Reiki is a Japanese practice in which a practitioner transmits energy through the hands into the recipient’s body. The goal is to promote relaxation, healing, and balance. Although the benefits of Reiki have not been scientifically proven, many people claim that it has helped them with everything from anxiety to pain management.
Caruso first placed his hands on my temples and sides of my face. Almost immediately my thoughts disappeared and I felt as if I had entered a trance. He wasn’t asleep, but he wasn’t thinking. As the session drew to a close, Caruso let go of his hand and I slowly returned to a normal state of consciousness, feeling refreshed and energized.
Then my doctor shared the points with me
After the hour-long session, Caruso and I discussed her observations. She explained that she saw different images of me being scared in different situations, such as falling into rushing water or being attacked by an animal. But she also saw me surrendering after a panic and trusting the universe to guide me. The vision ended with Caruso seeing lots of bright lights and sunlight.
I had a general idea of what the vision was saying, but I wanted more information because it’s hard to let go of control. Caruso explained that energy work allows you to recognize patterns and react differently to similar situations in the future. This means I don’t go too far down the rabbit hole, and I find that grounding tools like breathing exercises and meditation can help me calm myself down. I loved the in-person sessions, but the best part about breathing techniques is that you can breathe whenever you want. You can access guided breathing sessions through apps like Aura and Othership.
The session helped me see the big picture
My experience helped me recognize the deeper issues caused by how my situation ended. I was able to look at the past at face value and accept that this person’s actions were a reflection of them, not me.
Caruso also helped me realize that my over-obsession with past relationships was a distraction from the work of self-worth that I had been avoiding. It wasn’t the person that hurt me as much as the negative stories I told myself after he left. For example, I don’t deserve to be loved or that everyone is always leaving me.
I also realized that I have a lot of fear when it comes to trusting the universe and the timing of my life. Energy work has helped me understand the importance of being conscious of where I spend my time and especially who I give access to my precious energy. If someone doesn’t have a clear understanding of how they feel or are contributing to my growth, I don’t want to give them space in my brain.
I still have a lot of work to do on my own, but I’m no longer afraid to put myself out there. I can’t say I’m necessarily excited to use the app again (who is?), but it doesn’t feel like a disfigured bitter corpse anymore…and that’s progress.
