Brittany Flippen
While many ESSENCES are enjoying the perks of the 2024 ESSENCE Festival, including amazing performances from you, Cash Money Millionaire (Birdman, Juvenile, BG, Lil Wayne), T-Pain and more, as well as the Food & Wine Festival Experience, some are choosing to focus on mental health and have some hard conversations about wellness and holistic lifestyles while still having fun.
This year’s festival has decided to set up Wellness Pods where experts will offer advice and expertise at the Wellness House activation to help guests make sense of their daily lives, with everything from tarot card experiences to nutritional advice and sex talk. Yes, that’s right, they’re bringing pillows and sex talk to ESSENCE Fest.
Last year, I decided to start my column, “Sex Talk,” because I wanted Black women to feel comfortable bringing up the topic, discussing it openly, and exploring their sexuality freely. Too often, we grow up in families that try to hide our sexuality, with disastrous physical and mental consequences. “Sex Talk” has grown to be a safe space for Black women to stay up to date on the latest sex trends, learn tips and tricks in the bedroom, establish strategies for maintaining their sexual health, and above all, be their true selves.
On our Let’s Talk About Sex podcast, we asked some of the best Black female sex experts and relationship coaches to counsel, encourage, and inspire us for ESSIES. One of our standout experts, Brittany Flippen, is a mother, wife, and relationship and intimacy coach from New Orleans. We spoke with her yesterday about what our guests should expect, how to find creative ways to work intimacy into your schedule with your partner, especially if you’re busy, and how to find the courage to get more intimate. Check out the conversation below:
ESSENCE: I love that you talked about sex, so what do you want our guests to get out of a sex session with you?
Brittany Flippen: I’m a relationship coach and sex is a very important part of a partnership – you need sex to keep your relationship strong and healthy.
You see, as women get older and go through everything from postpartum to menopause, they have to learn how to make intimacy a priority. Of course, there are other things that are important in a relationship, but intimacy doesn’t have to be about sex. It’s about love.
What are your three tips for prioritizing intimacy and sex in a relationship?
One is that you have to constantly try to rekindle that passion. As you know, relationships go through different things. Also, try to explore new ways to be a little more open by using toys, trying new things, being open-minded, changing the place where you have sex, making things a little different in your relationship, being spontaneous.
One of the reasons I started Sex Talk and brought it to Wellness House is because a lot of Black women feel uncomfortable talking about sex and intimacy. Do you have any tips for Black women to become more relaxed when it comes to their sexuality as well?
Consult a sex therapist! Sometimes you need professional help instead of relying on your girlfriend. After consulting an experienced professional, try to incorporate their advice and tips into your home life. Give it a try!
How do you keep your relationship exciting, especially if you’ve been together for years?
I have been with my partner for 12 years now, so we have to try new things to keep our relationship exciting. We have two sons, and sometimes I don’t want to be intimate, but I know it’s an important part of our relationship. So I try to be open-minded when it comes to trying new things, like dice, toys, underwear, etc. When it comes to underwear, he loves loud colors. So, I try to buy colorful underwear just for him. We want to be together until the end of this world, so we have to find ways to keep each other interested.
What are some quick tips to make sex go smoothly or have an intimate conversation or moment with your partner when you don’t have much time?
Make an effort to have strong communication to deepen your sex life. My husband runs multiple businesses and so do I, so we have limited time. We have found that it is best to have sex when the kids are at school or during lunchtime. Sometimes my intimacy level is not high but through communication we get to be on the same page. We have not stopped dating either. Sometimes we even do staycations where we go to a hotel away from the kids, go to dinner and have sex because I can be louder when the kids are away.
What do you want the guests here today to take away most from this talk?
I feel stronger in body and mind. Many people I spoke to felt like they weren’t in a mental state for sex or intimacy, so it’s important to aim to reclaim yourself in order to enjoy the beauty of love, sex and intimacy.
