Most of us have heard the phrase “out of sight, out of mind.” This suggests that when something becomes invisible or no longer exists, it tends to be forgotten or ignored. In other words, if someone or something is not seen or actively thought about, it is easily overlooked or ignored.
People with ADHD (Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) may feel especially prone to becoming “blind and distant,” even when it comes to other people.
One mental health advocate explained why people with ADHD don’t usually miss people.
Vicki Ashley shared her research on people with ADHD on TikTok and revealed why your friends with ADHD aren’t as supportive as you’d like them to be. According to Ashley, many people with ADHD struggle with “object permanence” and “object immutability issues.”
“It’s a concept that when it’s out of sight, it’s out of your mind,” she said. “If something isn’t literally physically in your visual-spatial area, you won’t think it’s there or real,” she continued, which in the ADHD brain ” If it’s not in front of you, it doesn’t really exist.
People with ADHD often have trouble focusing on just one person, place, or task, even if it’s right in front of them. When something falls out of your sight, it often slips out of your mind until someone else reminds you of it.
“If you live in a different city than your friends and you don’t check in with them often, call them, text them, or check in with them, it’s literally because of what’s going on in your life. “It’s because they’re obsessed with dolphins,” Ashley said.
For people with ADHD, it can be difficult to juggle all the responsibilities at hand, and checking in on people you don’t see often can be a daunting task, especially if you’re already feeling overwhelmed. Not in.
“We will never be physically and emotionally present with you guys and for you, because we are hardly with ourselves emotionally. ,” Ashley said. “We’re too busy obsessing over problems, solving problems, and getting to the next goal. Managing and maintaining some of our relationships as adults is really difficult. It’s difficult.”
It is especially difficult for people with ADHD to maintain relationships with people who expect a lot from them or who already feel excluded.
Some people with ADHD don’t expect their friends and family to check in on them, so they don’t do the same for them. Some people may get upset about this and think that their friend with ADHD simply doesn’t care about them, but this is far from the truth.
“It’s not that your ADHD friend doesn’t love you. They’re just overwhelmed and attached,” Ashley says.
People with ADHD related to Ashley’s claims and shared how they remind themselves to check in on their friends.
“I work on this every day and literally write down on paper what time I’m going to check in with my friends each week. I want to get better and be more present,” TikTok user one person commented.
Another user wrote: “I miss people… when I remember they exist again.”
“I was so relieved to know this was true. I always felt like I was a bad person or a heartless person because I missed my friends every day. I just thought about it after we played together again,” another user added.
Even if your friend with ADHD doesn’t check in frequently to let you know how they’re doing, there are other ways they can show their love.
She can be impulsive when it comes to physical affection, so she might surprise you with a sudden hug or kiss while you’re in person. They may express their love by providing practical help and support to their loved one, such as helping with schoolwork, running errands together, or providing emotional support during difficult times. not.
So if you believe that the people around you with ADHD don’t love you the way you love them, don’t worry. They may need you to do more to initiate conversations and plans.
Megan Quinn is a writer for YourTango, covering entertainment and news, self, love and relationships.
