I have a long history of meditation, dating back to my time in seminary. So you might think I know what it is and how to do it. You would be partially right.
For me now, meditation is a quiet, focused spiritual practice that sometimes creates peace, joy, and love, and counteracts anxiety, depression, and fear. Prayer means I talk to God, meditation means God has space to visit me while I listen. Even if that’s not always my result, at least that’s my intention.
Occasionally, a satisfying calm appears briefly and suddenly when my mind ceases to careen its wayward thoughts, its unfinished impulses, or its glimpses of what might have been or might have been. Sometimes my wild horse mind gallops towards the horizon and I’m willing to ride it. I finished the meditation wondering what went wrong, but decided to try again tomorrow. The fleeting bursts of satisfying silence are intoxicating.
Sitting up straight, eyes closed, arms and hands placed on your feet in an open position, it is easy to look like you are meditating.
A 23-by-19-inch handcrafted wood table stands reverently on the wall opposite the sofa in my meditation room. On the table are a lit candle, a delicate willow tree figurine named “Remember,” a textured 6.5-inch wooden cross with RIO carved on the base, and a blade of ripe wheat. There is an elegant vase.
Their visual harmony blesses the room and invites prayer and meditation. But are the sturdy pillows and heating pads on your back welcome in that hallowed environment?
Regardless of our physical environment, we all know that the core of meditation takes place within our heart, mind, spirit, and everything else that is within us. Many of us follow sound, time-tested advice and follow breathing techniques to clear our minds and open up empty space, a space that invites God and generates peace, joy, and love.
In Matthew 6:5-8, Jesus said, “Pray alone and with few words…Go into your room, close the door, and pray to your Father who is invisible.” This fits well with the listening approach to meditation.
My curiosity makes me want to ask. Do you actually experience that creative, rich empty space when you meditate? If so, how often do you go there and how long can you stay there?
To be honest, I rarely go there, and even if I do, I can’t hold it for long. But I’m pretty faithful about 30 minutes a day in my meditation room. But am I doing it right?
For decades, I stopped trying to meditate. Nothing happened. I couldn’t quiet my mind and started doing other things with my time.
But then the Whisper, as I call her, the voice in my head, or the spirit in my soul, insisted that I try again, and I spent decades trying to find her. I learned to follow the guidance of
I hold a small candle on my meditation table while I meditate, think, daydream, problem solve, repeat routine prayers, read my daily reflections, and breathe. Keep the lights on and the heating pad on. It looks like I’m meditating, but I tell myself that’s what I’m doing. But who knows? not me.
Maybe that’s as good as it can be. My early meditation experiences in seminary started me off in the wrong direction. We meditated for 30 minutes each day at 6:30 a.m. in the chapel, and the night before our spiritual director taught us a helpful lesson about Jesus on the cross, who suffered horribly and courageously held on, groaning. It taught me a lot of outdated theology. You took up the unrequited cross and poured the pain of martyrdom into my wicked soul. And I did it to him. My sins, both great and small, coagulated into the whip that scourged him in the back, pierced his head, and nailed him to the cross.
My guilt was deep, pervasive, and warranted. Therefore, salvation will only come if I truly and fully accept my role in His suffering and death and humbly ask for forgiveness. His mercy was real, but only on the condition that my confession of prayer and determination to never sin again was sincere.
My meditations on these topics did not bring me peace, joy, or love.
I got tired of being in that pew every day and started resorting to other forms of “meditation.” Sometimes I would fall asleep, mentally studying for the day’s tests, daydreaming about the upcoming basketball game, or thinking about my family. I didn’t know anything about purifying the mind and this was 60 years ago.
Overwhelmed by the sight of the suffering Jesus, I sought to fill my heart with holy thoughts, sound doctrine, desirable virtues, and willing obedience. That was meditation back then. It was a lot of thought and inner prayer.
It never occurred to me that I was just quietly listening. As she got older, she realized the error of her ways and quit altogether.
In middle age, the Trappist Fathers appear. Thomas Keating and centered prayer, Transcendental Meditation, Eastern spiritual philosophies and practices, mindfulness, secular meditation and self-awareness techniques all promote quiet personal time. Research studies have shown positive results for many practitioners.
These forms of meditation have caused controversy among some traditional religions because they do not explicitly include important tenets of these religions. And where was Jesus, who was responsible for the suffering of our sins?
Proponents of these more expanded forms of meditation claim that this meditation method is compatible with traditional teachings. That debate continues.
My meditation history is mixed at best, so I reconsidered my approach, a hybrid of attempts at clearing the mind and listening, short daily readings from Ara-anon sources, and ending with a version like this: I tried the version. I pray out loud the Serenity Prayer that my late daughter wrote, even though no one else is around.
Sometimes I have a hard time clearing my mind and find myself thinking about projects I’m working on, messes that need to be unraveled, relationships that are troubled or very attractive, or inspiration that I want to cultivate. Masu. I don’t always get rid of those thoughts, but if it brings peace, joy, or love to my soul, I choose to let them flow.
I interpret that as Whisper talking to me, so I justify that approach. Plus, the heating pad helps my back.
So is there a right or wrong way to meditate? Good question? In any case, I’m probably not the best person to answer that.