Listening to Others and Sharing Our Faith

The question is similar to one I still get asked as a columnist for a national newspaper: “Why don’t you use your writing to tell people about Jesus?”

The first question assumes that pastors represent Christianity and should use their position to clandestinely evangelize patients.

The second question assumes that Christians who write spiritual columns in secular newspapers should use their writings to defend Christian teachings.

However, neither assumption is true.

That’s because hospital chaplains, like spiritual columnists, don’t “represent” a single faith.

Chaplains don’t wear pastor, rabbi or guru hats, because once you walk into a hospital it doesn’t matter who you are.

What matters to a pastor is who you teeth.

In the hospital, as in this column, I try to help patients connect with the spiritual elements in their lives. I affirm their personal beliefs, because when people are sick or dying, they tend to turn to their own healing rituals for comfort.

And while I believe Jesus is my friend and their friend, I don’t think patients should hear that proclamation from a stranger.

While serving as a hospital chaplain, I happened to be a Christian, but at the request of patients, I performed some unorthodox practices that might have offended some Christians.

For example, I taped crystals to their wrists, placed their beds facing east, read their Bibles, read the Quran, put healing blankets on their beds, put garlic under their beds, I also collected bones to cremate and placentas to bury.

I did these things because my patients deserve my respect, not because I personally share their beliefs.

When I have shown appropriate respect for people’s beliefs, I have sometimes had the honor of being questioned about my own beliefs.

On one such occasion, I met a cancer patient who wasn’t even sure if he believed in God.

“It’s okay,” I joked. “I’m in customer service, not sales.”

He liked the rebuttal and we established common ground visiting each other over the next few weeks.

One day, my father, who was suffering from an illness, asked me a number of spiritual questions and I answered them one by one.

Yes, God exists, yes, God is loving, and yes, God wants an intimate relationship with you.

He then asked how he could talk to God.

“Talking to God is like talking to me,” I said. “Just say what you feel.”

He wondered aloud whether God would consider him a hypocrite for waiting until death to pray.

Then he asked me to do something I had never done before or since: “Say the lines for me.”

Like I said, I’ve done some pretty unconventional things, but nobody’s ever asked me to lip sync a prayer. That’s very unconventional.

“Okay,” I agreed, “but if I pray you don’t agree, please hold my hand as a sign that you want to try again.”

As he held my hand, I told God that my friend wanted to know him, that this man was seeking forgiveness and wholeness and wanted God to be in his life.

It was a prayer I will never forget, a prayer that would never have come to fruition had I not begun with reverence.

Is there someone with whom you would like to share your faith? If so, ask yourself what it would look like to do so respectfully. Before you start spouting off, try to listen to what the other person has to say.

I hope the results will surprise you.