A hypnotherapist and pleasure coach has revealed some of the key things to look out for when lying in a relationship.
Like it or not, lying is common in many relationships and can lead to major discord and sometimes even the end of a relationship.
There is a pretty wide range, from something as extreme as cheating to something as minor as not eating enough of the last rolo.
You might be able to get away with the latter, but you’d be in danger if you did the other, and the same is true for a lot of things in between.
Las Vegas hypnotherapist Kate Scherer has some of her best tips on what to look out for when lying in a relationship.
From advice on having enough sex in a relationship to curing pornography addiction, Kate gives advice every day to people who seek expert advice on life’s more personal issues.
The American, who also has an OnlyFans account in her spare time, has even hosted an epic cruise ship “hypno sex session” – and it was exactly what it sounds like.
When it comes to lies, some of Kate’s tips for spotting them are obvious, while others are a little more subtle, so if you’re in a situation where you suspect one is going on, it might be worth digging deeper.
Kate is an expert in her field (Instagram/@kateshelor)
Body language, fidgeting, blinking
“Pay attention to the other person’s body language – if they’re lying they might avoid eye contact or look away frequently,” Kate explains in a YouTube video on the issue.
“Touching or covering the other person’s mouth, nose or face. This may be an unconscious behavior they are using to avoid telling the truth. Fidgeting with objects, stomping or shaking their legs, or crossing their arms or legs in a defensive posture. Leaning away from you are ways of trying to create physical distance.”
Other small things to notice are “rapid unconscious blinking” and “inconsistencies in speech.”
Kate is a pleasure coach and hypnotherapist (Instagram/KateShelor)
Practiced answer and its opposite
“If someone is lying, of course their story may change over time because they may have a hard time remembering the details of their story.
It’s a deceptive practice that includes contradictory information that doesn’t make sense or match other facts,” Kate explained.
Being “overly rehearsed” is also a red flag. It’s pretty odd when someone’s story has no room to digress or flow naturally. Remember, you’re not under oath, so it’s odd for someone to act as if they are.
Conversely, being “very vague” and lacking specific details because you “don’t want to reveal too much” about what’s going on can come across as suspicious.
Liars will also notice that their tone of voice changes significantly and rises in pitch when they’re lying. Kate says: “This is a good way of signaling that they’re feeling very uncomfortable. They may also sound very flat or monotone, as if they’re trying to suppress their emotions. This is a psychological sign that something is going on and they’re trying to suppress it.”
Ask open-ended questions
Kate says one way to catch them is to ask open-ended questions that are much harder to answer than a simple “yes” or “no.”
She says: “Open-ended questions invite more detailed responses and help you get a better sense of whether the other person is telling the truth.”
“So instead of a simple question of ‘Did you steal money’ and ‘No’, which doesn’t tell you much by itself, a question like ‘Do you know what you were doing when the money was stolen’ sounds more like a police interrogation, of course, but you get the point.”
Kate says one of the biggest signs you’re in a toxic relationship is changing the topic.
She says: “Changing the subject and dwelling on the other person is a common occurrence in toxic relationships, so be careful. Becoming hostile or angry when asked a question is also a sign that you’re not comfortable answering the question.”
And then there’s the other side of the coin: people who use humor, sarcasm and jokes to deflect questions — what Kate calls “toxic anger.”
