This article was written by K. Aleisha Fetters and provided by our partners. Men’s Health.
Sex just wouldn’t be right without some moaning, screaming, and headboard rattling. But sometimes, like when there’s a paper-thin wall between you, the kids, and your visiting in-laws, you either have quiet sex or no sex at all.
However, please be careful. Sneaky, quiet sex doesn’t require you to keep your mouth shut or stick to slow and steady missionary. With the right DIY soundproofing strategy, you can step out of the bedroom and perform acrobatics like 45 Sex Positions for Couples to Try and silence toe-curling moans.
1. Build a Blanket Fort
Throw some more pillows on the bed and hide under the covers. When high-frequency sound waves enter the blanket, they turn into tiny vibrations that get stuck between the fibers, says Tom Player, director of Lost Track Productions, which composed the trailer music.for hobbit and game of thrones.
While most soft objects, such as sofas and beds, absorb some sound waves, pillows and blankets are some of the best absorbers found around the average home. However, moaning should be kept to a minimum. Blankets can only absorb so much sound, he says, and can’t really touch deep sounds.
2. Take a shower
This masturbation place is also perfect for twosomes. It’s not just because the shower is noisy. In fact, water karate chops sound into millions of tiny pieces. “When the shower water falls, the sound waves physically hit the water droplets at countless points,” explains Maria Canul, a former sound engineer at Sound Research Corporation. “Every time this happens, the waves slow down, change shape, and get chopped up.”
However, be aware that hot water also loosens your vocal cords. And, she says, H2O doesn’t just turn you into an ace shower singer, it also makes your voice deeper and easier to hear throughout the house.
(Wet and wild sex is great, but while you’re lathering up, be sure to avoid these 6 things you should never do in the shower.)
3. Distract the tyke with music
A good old-school R&B track can help set the mood, but if you don’t want the kids to hear what you’re doing, you should also play some (non-sexy) music in the room, says the co-owner. Michael Ybarra says. Owner of Soundproof Chicago, a commercial soundproofing company. He says lullabies work, but white noise machines are more constant and can better mask sexual sounds that children may hear.
4. Get a better bed
A creaking bed frame can convey excitement for sex, but ultimately, if you invest in a solid setup, you can hit almost any position. kama sutra “Beds don’t make noise,” says Ybarra, who recommends choosing a high bed frame so vibrations don’t bounce off the floor. (A rug under the bed can also be helpful.) If you need a new mattress, choose a cushiony memory foam model. That will help you absorb the sounds you make,” Ibarra says.
(While you’re searching, you may be wondering if you should buy your next mattress online.)
5. Buy more eggs
Of course for the bubbles! Paste it between the bottom of the bedroom door and the floor. (Blankets and towels are also effective.) In addition to creating a physical barrier between your sexual sounds and the other person’s ears, the curves of the foam resemble the curves of sound waves, helping to trap and break up sounds. Kanul says it will help.
See more men’s health:
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7 cheesy pick-up lines that actually work
4 most dangerous sex positions
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