Dr. Tracy Brenner is a clinical psychologist. She is concerned about elementary school students’ use of smartphones and social media.
She and other parents at Greens Farms Elementary School, where her son is in fourth grade, heard social psychologist Jonathan Haidt discuss research on the effects of telephone calls on childhood and mental health and were inspired to take action. became.
Brenner said: “His data are so accurate, his research so convincing, and his solutions so completely viable that even the skeptics among us will be convinced.
“He refutes all the claims of his opponents and proposes solutions to improve the mental health of children. As parents and psychologists, we are fully in support and advocate for change. I have a strong desire to make things happen.”
(Click on Mr. Haidt’s podcast, “Smartphone Rewired Childhood. Here’s How to Fix It,” for an article with the same title.) His book, “Anxious Generations: The Great Childhood (Click here to read “How Rewiring is Causing Problems”) The Epidemic of Mental Illness. ”)
A letter to GFS fourth-grade parents (co-signed by psychologists and parents Melissa Konstantiner and Dr. Lauren Barnett, as well as 20 other fourth-grade parents) states, “As a school, we stand united. They are being asked to commit to waiting until the end of 2018. Children are given smartphones in eighth grade and allowed to use social media until age 16. ” (Click here to view the pledge.)
“GFS 5th grade parents made it happen,” the letter states. “Other elementary schools are asking for postponements as well. Join the movement.”
Think of what would happen if the entire grade group came together! ” Brenner said.
“Parents often give in to their children’s demands for a smartphone long before they feel ready, because they fear that their child will be socially marginalized and the only one without a smartphone. Because I’m worried,” she added.
“Peer pressure will no longer be an issue if we come together and say ‘not yet’.
Children are using smartphones at increasingly younger ages.
“Additionally, for parents who want their children to have a communications device, both Haidt’s study and Wait Until the 8th suggest a number of alternatives to smartphones that don’t carry the same risks.
“Let’s prioritize our children’s mental health, don’t let our children down, and support each other to weather the storm of complaints.”
“We can virtually guarantee that communities that adopt these four norms will see lower rates of mental illness within a year or two,” said Hite.
Hite’s concepts include no smartphones until high school and no social media until age 16, as well as phone-free school and “more independence, free play, and responsibility in the real world.”
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Not sure how to talk to your child about smartphones? Dr. Brenner offers these tips:
● If the smartphone has already indicated that it will appear sooner:
Try: “I know we said we were thinking X We will give you a smartphone as a gift when your child reaches the grade level. We are learning more and more every day about how they are truly harmful to children’s health and well-being. Our number one job as parents is to keep you safe. Just as you wouldn’t let your child ride in a car without a seatbelt, you wouldn’t do your job as a parent to hand over a device you know is harmful. ”
Add empathy and validation. “I’m sure you’re disappointed (and angry, etc.). I totally understand that, and you’re totally allowed to be angry at us.”
Even clearer boundaries: “But just as we wouldn’t change our decision if you got mad at us for not letting you have ice cream for breakfast, we wouldn’t change our decision.” We are not going to change our decision on this matter.”
● If your child protests because his sibling got a cell phone earlier than the end of 8th grade:
Try this: “I believe your brother was given a telephone at the end of fifth grade. The great thing about research and science is that we are always learning new things. Back then, we I didn’t know as much about the negative effects that smartphones have on children as I do now. So this may seem unfair, but believe me, if I had the information I have now, I would too. I understand that you would have made the same decision” (insert line of empathy and validation!).
Greens Farms Elementary School parents tackle contemporary issues. (Photo/Seth Schachter)
● If your child asks, “What’s so bad and dangerous in the first place?”, answer:
Please research and provide information! Click here for Jonathan Hight’s stats:
“Mobile phone use is associated with sleep, attention and academic problems, and less time spent with friends, but it can also change how you feel, making children and teens feel sadder and lonelier.” It can make you feel anxious.”
● When your child says, “You’re a terrible parent, and everyone else will be too.”
“I know you think I’m the worst and you’re really mad at me. This is something you’ve wanted for a while, but I say no.” That doesn’t feel good. I know you’re worried that you’re the only one who doesn’t have a phone. Feeling excluded is scary.
“The good news is that all parents at GFS are united in this and support each other because we all agree that the health and well-being of our children comes first. No, you’re not the only one who doesn’t have a phone. At least not in our community.
If your child has friends from camp or friends outside of school, say, “Let’s think of other ways to stay in touch with friends outside of school that don’t involve using your smartphone.”
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