When Jett James was eight years old, his mother was violently murdered by his father, and his journey to recover from the childhood trauma took him in an unexpected direction.
Jett James’ childhood memories are littered with memories of breaking into houses with his father and taking drugs during police raids.
But he says the memories that last forever are those of love.
“I remember receiving a lot of love from my parents, but I also saw a lot.”
He was the child of Angie King, the ’60s muse who was once married to Eric Burdon of The Animals and War.
The marriage didn’t last even two years.
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According to rock and roll records of the time, the model was reportedly linked to Jimi Hendrix and, briefly, Michael Hutchence.
But the rock star life had its pitfalls, and after a series of romantic relationships she developed a drug problem.
By the end of the Flower Power era, Angie had moved to Australia to be closer to family.
It was during this time in the ’80s that she settled in the suburbs of Perth with Jet’s father, Steven Blurton.
The de facto partnership was marked by drug use and incarceration as Angie made multiple attempts to break her addiction.
Jett has multiple memories of coming home to an empty house and calling an ambulance after his mother overdosed.
He was also employed by his father as his criminal assistant.
“I was breaking into the house with my dad and he had me climb through the window,” Jett said.
“It was quite a shock but it was normal because that’s life.”
Then, when he was eight years old, his father, Stephen, stabbed his mother to death after a drug-induced argument.
The argument began when Angie forgot she had left Jett at the arcade to go to the pub.
She then accused her now-estranged partner Stephen of taking Jett from her.
“I didn’t know where she was, I was just crying in the street,” Jett recalled.
Police eventually came to help, but Jett remembers having to escort them to his house because he didn’t know the address.
There he found his house ransacked and knew something terrible had happened.
“I didn’t understand the full extent of what had happened. It just snowballed.”
Jett’s father was convicted of Angie’s manslaughter and served two years in prison.
According to newspaper reports at the time, Angie chased Steven down the street with a knife and during a scuffle he stabbed her.
Jett was sent to live with relatives living on a remote base in far north Queensland.
After being released from prison, Steven took his own life.
No one ever laid a hand on Jett, but the violence he endured from his family left him with a “heavy heart” that lasted for decades.
“Being orphaned as a child leaves you with a deep sense of loneliness,” Jett says.
“I hated my father for a long time.”
In addition to the trauma that permeated Jett’s childhood, what he experienced is also known as emotional abuse.
This is an extreme example, but the figures show that emotional abuse of all kinds is on the rise.
“I wish you’d never been born”
Dr Dibna Haslam of Queensland University of Technology, who studies emotional abuse, said it could include any pattern of degrading, humiliating, rejecting or refusing affection towards a child.
“Parents tell their children, ‘I wish you’d never been born. I don’t love you,'” she says.
Dr Haslam is co-author of the groundbreaking Australian Child Abuse Study which showed that 34.6% of 16 to 24 year olds had experienced some form of emotional abuse as children.
The study also found that this rate is higher than in previous generations.
The study counted exposure to domestic violence separately and found that 43.8% of young people had been exposed to some form of domestic violence by a parent or guardian as a child, much higher than the national average, including for older generations.
“It was devastating to see these figures and see just how prevalent emotional abuse is in Australian society,” she said.
The ABC has collected figures from child protection agencies across the country which paint a disturbing picture of just how widespread emotional abuse is.
Although states include exposure to family violence in their statistics, they are counted separately in abuse surveys.
Victorian child protection agencies did not provide data to the ABC, while Tasmanian authorities provided only the number of substantiated cases.
However, available figures show that there has been an increase in reports to authorities by teachers, doctors, police and other stakeholders, and that an increase in reports is ultimately being investigated and substantiated.
Dr Haslam said the photo was probably “just the tip of the iceberg”.
Emotional abuse is a type of “adverse childhood experience” with a well-established link to mental health problems.
Dr Haslam said the rising rates of this type of abuse could be contributing to a sharp rise in teen mental health problems.
“There is no doubt that the presence of psychological abuse has a significant impact on the development of mental illness,” she said.
Their research found that emotional abuse is in itself one of the most harmful forms of abuse.
It has been associated with increased rates of suicide, self-harm and substance abuse.
“I think parents generally think it’s not that harmful. I’m just angry. But these numbers show there is a dramatic impact,” she said.
“It’s rejection from the people who are supposed to love you more than anything that hurts the most.
“The message this behavior sends to children is that they don’t matter, and children internalize that belief, which creates a chain of harm.”
Dr Haslam said it was crucial that parents realised how they spoke to their children had a huge impact on their children’s mental health.
“We need to send the message to parents that it’s not okay to abuse their children, even in jest.”
“I felt inferior.”
Sydney teenager Theresa* knows how isolating it can be to have an emotionally abusive parent.
The 21-year-old, who is of Greek descent, had endured years of insults from her mother, who she believed favored her brother.
Her father sometimes displayed similar behavior, she said, but at other times he was downright indifferent.
For Teresa, family quarrels were a regular part of her childhood.
She said much of her mother’s abuse focused on her appearance and food.
“She called me a fat woman and told me to eat all the food on my plate if I couldn’t eat any more.”
“It’s just messing with my brain.”
She said the abuse turned her into an angry adolescent who turned to marijuana to cope.
“I remember him flipping chairs and tables over at teachers. I remember him hitting kids for no reason.”
Now, away from the ridicule of her own family, the young woman is finally rebuilding her life.
Though she now owns a car and has a job of her own, the scars of the abuse remain.
“My parents, who were supposed to love me, only despised me.”
What is causing the rise?
Dr Haslam said experts believe factors such as social stress, economic conditions and a lack of services likely contribute to emotional abuse.
Queensland’s Child Safety Agency said the rise in the cost of living was fuelling the increase.
“Sadly, we know that families are coming under increasing pressure and facing complex issues including domestic and family violence, struggling to pay the bills and drug and alcohol misuse,” the spokesman said.
This graph shows how reports of emotional abuse in New South Wales have skyrocketed.
Dr Haslam said it is important to remember that emotional abuse does not occur in a vacuum and affects all levels of society.
“This happens when parents are stressed, their own needs are not being met or there are other drug issues going on,” she said.
“What this shows us is that we need to provide more support to parents.”
Parenting programs are one solution, but there is only one program in Australia that is free and universally available to all parents, and it is only available online.
National Children’s Commissioner Anne Hollands said there was a lack of programs that struggling parents could rely on.
“What assistance is available in terms of child care assistance varies somewhat by zip code,” she said.
“Some parents fear that if they ask for help, their children will be taken away. This is a reality we have to consider.”
“I was in a vicious cycle.”
When Jett went to live with a family in Queensland, he had no support to help him cope with the trauma of losing his parents or what he had witnessed in their care.
“I realized I hadn’t really dealt with what had happened,” he said.
As a teenager, he was bullied, fell in with bad friends for a time, tried drugs and committed petty crime.
“I was in the middle of chaos,” he said.
Jet finds a savior
For Jett, the solitude of life on a remote base gave him time to hone his art.
He is now an award-winning artist who runs his own gallery in Yeppoon, Queensland.
“Art became a way for me to process grief and trauma.”
Jett said that over time, he found a way to forgive his father, who had mental health issues.
“I want to pull myself together a little more and make them proud.”
“I feel like art is a wonderful way for me to honour my mother and express the indescribable love I have for her,” he said.
*Names have been changed for legal reasons.
Mental illness among young people has increased by nearly 50 per cent in 15 years. ABC speaks to young people, parents and researchers about what’s driving this trend and what can be done to turn the situation around.
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- Reporter and Digital Production: Alison Branley
- Photo: Russell Talbot and Billy Cooper
