Homophobia in Black families often stems from deep-rooted cultural and religious beliefs that are frequently used as a means of oppression against LGBTQ+ people, reinforcing the idea that homosexuality is unacceptable in various environments (e.g., townships, suburban areas, strict religious homes, etc.).
“You’re black before you’re gay” is a false argument. Many queer people cannot “blend in” with straight people. If being black takes precedence over being gay, why do black people so often label young children as gay? The black community argues that the police see our children as adults, yet the police do the same, labeling children based on their mannerisms, clothing choices, and favorite colors. Why are children allowed to be spoken to in such a way? Your nephew’s use of his hands to talk is not indicative of his sexual orientation, it is simply expressive.
So where do queer Black people belong?
There is a safe space for Black queer people that is frequently under attack, yet deeply nurtured. Ballroom House began as a safe space for LGBTQ+ kids who were kicked out for being gay, lesbian, or transgender. When these kids are kicked out, they often do the unimaginable to survive. So the big question for these parents is: why have children at all if you can’t love them unconditionally and reflect a safe place for them? And where are the grandparents, aunts, uncles, the whole village when these parents kick their kids out?
We need to continue asking these questions to our Black elders because we need Answer: What good are sayings and sermons about love and acceptance if they are not fully practiced?
Every day is a battle for recognition and acceptance while battling stereotypes and prejudices from all sides. But there is an undeniable beauty in queerness, especially among Gen Z. Authenticity, self-expression, and subverting traditions and societal norms shine through, creating a vibrant, inclusive space where everyone can thrive.
It’s time to hold people accountable. If you have a child, you must be prepared to love them unconditionally at all times. Your job as a parent is not done even if your child has a disability or you love someone of the same sex. Create a home where every child feels loved and accepted for who they are.
As Pride Month comes to an end, we as a community need to do more. do not have Something that can be wiped away with a prayer, hit someone, or end a period of recklessness. If we don’t love our children at home, they will go out and seek love from someone or somewhere that may not have their best interests at heart.
Understand what unconditional love is and give it to your children.
