A writer who has suffered from trichotillomania – the compulsive desire to pull out one’s own hair – for more than half her life has turned to hypnosis to help her stop the urge. cycle
When a compulsive behavior becomes so ingrained in your life that it feels like an extension of your personality, you may feel like you would do anything to make it go away. That was my case. Just two and a half months ago, I was frustrated that despite all my efforts I couldn’t control my trichotillomania.
Trichotillomania It’s a disorder that causes an irresistible urge to pull out your hair. This repetitive behavior puts you in a trance-like state that can seem impossible to break. I started pulling out my hair when I was 11, and by the time I was 28, I’d tried everything to curb the habit, including therapy, acrylic nails, bandages on my fingers, wearing a beanie at all times (especially at home), and even wearing a rubber band around my wrist every time I reached for my scalp.
For a long time, I felt so ashamed of my habit. My arms and hands are mine, but if they are truly mine, why can’t I stop plucking hair from my scalp? Because this habit began when I was 11 years old, in many ways I felt trapped in my childhood and unable to deal with the stresses of adulthood in a healthy way. Shame led me to try to hide this habit from those I loved and hide the damage I was causing.
When a habit becomes ingrained, you start to believe there is no way to eradicate it. But after a certain point, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t want to be held captive by my habit any longer. And that’s when I Jessica Boston.
Before being hypnotized
Jessica is a leading London based, multi award winning hypnotherapist in the cognitive, clinical and somatic fields with a background in trauma coaching. Her goal is to work with her clients to give them the tools they need to transform their subconscious mind.
My treatment with Jessica began with a thorough questionnaire. I was forced to analyze my thoughts and experiences, going all the way back to my childhood. This exercise alone brought to light many themes and ideas that I hadn’t considered in a long time, and was cathartic in many ways. In addition to the questionnaire, I was encouraged to listen to a playlist of recorded meditations every day leading up to my first appointment, apparently to prepare my subconscious for the hypnotism.
First Hypnosis Session
Once I was ready, I had my first official session with Jessica over Zoom. At first, I was skeptical about hypnotherapy over Zoom. In my mind, I thought I would have to lie on a chaise lounge with a pocket watch swinging in front of my face, but Jessica quickly dispelled my doubts as the session began.
Talking to Jessica was like talking to an old friend. She was kind, warm, and reassuring. I felt like I could open up to her without feeling embarrassed. She explained that most of her clients are women who struggle with perfectionism and fear of the uncontrollable. Trichotillomania often stems from unresolved anxieties and hypnosis can serve as a means to address these fears. By unlocking the power of the subconscious mind, a person can learn to deal with stress and anxiety in a healthier way.
The first session lasted two hours. The majority of the session was spent exploring my past and what had led me to react to pulling my hair in the first place. The therapeutic nature of these sessions went far beyond the act of hypnosis and helped me gain a deeper understanding of the root causes of my disorder. The reasons for pulling hair can vary, but are often triggered by anxiety, resulting in a trance-like state that can act as a response to anxiety or emotional triggers over the course of years.
The hypnosis lasted about 10 minutes and was accompanied by a beautiful soundscape. She spoke to me in simple metaphors that my subconscious could understand. She then gave me a customized meditation that I could incorporate into my daily routine in the morning or evening.
Second Hypnosis Session
A month later, Jessica and I met up for our second and final hypnosis session over Zoom. This time, the focus was on fully addressing my compulsive hair-pulling behavior and stopping it once and for all. As with our first session, we discussed our main concerns and triggers before diving into the meditation.
This meditation really resonated with me. I was led into a trance-like state by Jessica’s soothing voice and meditative sounds. One metaphor in particular stuck with me: she compared my hair to a garden, encouraging me to tend to it with water and sun, and to trust that it would grow without me having to tug at the roots to check. This image left an indelible impression on me. The idea of plucking a flower by the roots seems wrong and inhuman, but why would I do that to myself? I left the session feeling ready to incorporate this new meditation recording into my daily routine, because I recognized that it could affect my subconscious in ways I didn’t really understand.
After the session
I’ve avoided talking about my trichotillomania for a long time, but I’m so glad I took the plunge and got this treatment. It’s been a month and a half since my last treatment and my trichotillomania has almost completely disappeared. The few slip-ups I had were quickly recognized and I was able to regain control. It’s a huge change from the urgency I had before, and I never imagined it would get to this point. It seemed impossible to break a habit that had been ingrained in my daily life for 17 years.
While acknowledging that hypnosis may be financially difficult for some, Jessica offers her own free meditations available on Spotify, The feeling is youWhile not as powerful as a customized session, it offers great benefits to the ongoing listener, while also providing a very beautiful and dreamy listening experience.
