Nancy Stroud has been faithful to personal prayer for many years, but at one point, the Charleston, South Carolina, resident said, “I just couldn’t get my head around it. PillarShe felt she needed someone to accompany her on her journey of faith.
So Stroud began looking into spiritual direction.
Spiritual direction pairs a trained prayerful person, or spiritual director, with an interested person they are directing. Through one-on-one sessions, usually monthly, the director helps the person understand how God is working in their life.
But while spiritual direction is beneficial for many Catholics who want to deepen their faith, it’s not always easy to find a spiritual director, or even to know whether you should seek one in the first place.
But in the Diocese of Charleston, priesthood is becoming more accessible: At the request of Bishop Jacques Fabre-June, Deacon Tom Whalen last year established the Office of Diocesan Spiritual Directorship to oversee the practice of spiritual direction in the diocese.
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In the Diocese of Charleston, Catholics who want to be recognized by their parish as spiritual directors must be approved by the diocese, which requires them to obtain a certificate from an approved program of study and sign a contract outlining the diocesan code of conduct and confidentiality requirements.
Among those expectations are that spiritual leaders must never give advice or guidance that contradicts Church teaching and must avoid physical contact with those they are leading: They “must maintain clear and appropriate physical and psychological boundaries in all spiritual service sessions and in service-related relationships.”
The agreement is intended to give those seeking spiritual guidance confidence that they are working with someone who meets certain standards of legitimacy, training and expertise.
Spiritual leaders within a parish can be priests, nuns, or lay people.
But apart from the formal requirements, the most important qualities for a director are: Pillara personal call from God to mission.
“While education is certainly important, it is personal spiritual growth and the ability to be ‘holy listeners’ that is the very blessing of the encounter and the grace that flows through the meeting,” Whalen continued.
“I believe the Holy Spirit is the true ‘spiritual guide’ in the encounter with the mentor. The mentor is a thoughtful companion on the mentor’s journey.”
Spiritual directors for laity, monks and deacons and their contact details are listed on the diocesan office website, and Stroud eventually found one there.
“I Googled ‘spiritual direction near me,’ and came across the parish’s website,” Stroud said. “I didn’t realize it would be so organized, so it was great.”
Admittedly, she was initially overwhelmed by the long list of directors, but she felt God leading her to a particular name, she reached out and has now been receiving spiritual guidance for the past three years.
She said the spiritual guidance has made her more accountable to prayer, helped her make decisions and trusted God more completely.
“Don’t worry about next month or six months from now,” Stroud says. “Just do the next thing that needs to be done.” [God is] It is calling to me.”
A growing community
Some spiritual leaders, like Beaufort resident Judith Gabriel, have been offering spiritual guidance long before a parish office was established.
Gabrielle appreciates the organizational strength the firm brings to her job, including its code of conduct (which also stipulates that directors may not accept compensation).
“I was happy they did that, to be honest with you,” Gabriel said. Pillar Regarding the guidelines: “Because it clarifies some points that were unclear.”
The number of spiritual leaders in the diocese is growing: As of this month, 56 spiritual leaders, including priests, nuns and lay people, had been approved by the diocese, Whalen said. Pillar.
Half of them are certified in spiritual direction from Spring Hill College, a Jesuit institution in Mobile, Alabama, with a branch in Atlanta, Georgia.
Whalen, a graduate of the program and its spiritual director, now serves as the parish-university liaison on behalf of each year’s student body. The June graduates are the third from the parish to earn the two-year, 18-credit certificate.
Other members come from different programs: Debra Dinolfo, who works with four of her clients, got her certification in spiritual direction through an online program at Divine Mercy University in Virginia.
Dinolfo met with many of the parish’s spiritual leaders for the group’s first day of prayer and reflection May 18 and said: Pillar It was “useful, fresh and nutritious.”
Events including Mass, talks and social gatherings gave spiritual leaders a chance to get to know each other while praying together about their ministry, and Whalen plans to make the event an annual event.
“We were able to meet and bond and have meals together,” Dinolfo said.
For the remainder of the year, spiritual directors scattered across the state are able to participate in peer supervision groups that meet every six to eight weeks via video call to help participants continue to grow in ministry after their studies are over.
An open door
Many Catholics don’t know what spiritual direction is, Stroud said. Pillar.
“I think a lot of people still tend to think of it as a counseling thing, or a problem-solving thing,” Stroud says. “And that means, ‘I don’t have a problem. I don’t need a spiritual director.'”
Spiritual direction is different from mental health care, explained Dinolfo, who is also a licensed professional counselor (though she clarified that people would never hire the same person to provide both counseling and spiritual direction).
For example, Dinolfo says, “People who have difficulty maintaining stable romantic relationships may need to seek help from a mental health professional to address harmful patterns of behavior and thinking that are rooted in past relationships with parents or other close adults.”
That is a separate issue from the issue of discerning a calling into marriage or a relationship that the person can bring into spiritual direction.
Dinolfo said some people may need to pause or postpone spiritual direction to deal with mental health issues, while others may seek both spiritual direction and counseling at the same time.
Another misconception is that spiritual direction is something only the most devout Catholics do.
“I always thought that to have a spiritual director, you had to be a saint,” Stroud recalled, “and the only time I ever read about spiritual directors was when I read about the lives of saints.”
In fact, there is disagreement about whether the average Catholic would benefit from spiritual direction, said Dr. Anthony Liles, a professor of spiritual theology at St. Patrick Seminary in Menlo Park, California. Pillar.
One extreme, Liles explains, is the belief that “you’re not truly living a spiritual life unless you receive spiritual direction (often with a strong preference for a particular style of direction).”
“There’s a little bit of magic in it, and that’s the danger,” Liles said.
“On the other hand, if it’s magic, then the rest are the disillusioned,” he continued. “The extreme view of the disillusioned is, ‘I have so much work to do and I don’t have time to listen to people moan about their spiritual lives.'”
Practicalities aside, Liles said, there are some rare people who believe that laity don’t need spiritual guidance as long as they go to Mass, say the rosary and live morally.
In between are Catholics whose need for spiritual direction is adequately met through confession and participation in church life, and those, like Stroud, who desire more personal accompaniment.
Liles also noted that not everyone who offers spiritual guidance has the training, maturity or charisma necessary for the ministry.
“Bad spiritual leaders can do a lot of harm,” he said.
But the spiritual leaders I spoke to Pillar He stressed that the bar for seeking spiritual guidance is low. Pillar He spends time in the first session explaining to his recipients what spiritual direction is and what it is not, and then often there is further guidance and structuring, such as learning different ways to pray or reading spiritual texts together.
“This is a personal process for the mentor,” Whalen writes. “There is no recipe book or checklist approach, but proven tools to try and see if they help the mentor grow closer to God.”
Many of these tools come from St. Ignatius, whose writings feature prominently in Spring Hill College’s curriculum and in the priesthood in general. Gabriel said he hopes more Catholics will pray according to the Spiritual Exercises, four weeks of prayer and meditation written by St. Ignatius, whether in a silent retreat or over a few months at home.
Dinolfo encourages anxious Catholics to just give it a try: Many spiritual directors, including hers and others in the diocese, are offering sessions over video calls to cut down on red tape.
“Attend two or three sessions, once a month, and see how it feels,” she said, “and see if you can pick up practices that help you better understand how God is working in your life.”
“I don’t think people realize what they’re missing out on,” said Stroud, who is currently pursuing her own spiritual direction qualification at Spring Hill.
“God has provided more than they could ever ask for.”
This report is part of The Pillar’s solutions-oriented series focusing on parishes across the U.S. Learn more about the series here.
