Cooking failure
There are two kinds of cooks in the world: intrepid experts who season their food by eyeballing everything and saying, “Hmm, that’s just right,” and neurotic people (I’m one of them) who carefully measure out each ingredient and follow recipes to the letter.
But despite your best efforts, sometimes a recipe just doesn’t turn out as expected. Whether it’s because you misunderstood the instructions, left out a key ingredient, or were just a little careless, there’s nothing more frustrating than spending time and money on food that ends up in the trash or your dog’s bowl.
Below are highlights from some angry and hilarious recipe reviews shared on Reddit by home cooks who didn’t follow the instructions and blamed the recipe for their failed meals. In most cases, they should have just ordered takeout instead.
From runny eggs to burnt casseroles, these cooking fiascos have us laughing our heads off — proving that the kitchen isn’t a place for the faint-hearted or absent-minded.
1. Not all citrus fruits are the same
Sure, limes tend to be more tart than lemons. But did you know that they’re not necessarily interchangeable? That was a new story for me. Substituting lemon for lime or vice versa will definitely change the flavor profile of your recipe, especially if it’s an ingredient-star recipe like these lemon cookies.
Lemon is generally preferred for recipes that call for a more floral and slightly tart flavor, such as creamy pastas, seafood dishes, and Mediterranean and Thai cuisine.
Limes, on the other hand, are perfect for adding a zesty flavor to bold dishes like tacos, guacamole, and cocktails.
2. Yes, it will ruin the cookies.
This Reddit user’s funny mix-up of units of measurement – 1.5 inches Tablespoon Instead of a quarter of salt tea spoon — the result was a very salty (and probably super gross) cookie.
That’s why it’s so important to follow recipe instructions carefully, especially when making desserts.
3. It wasn’t cooked for about 30 minutes.
I’m not trying to criticize, but maybe not baking it for 30 minutes was enough to ruin it. I’m just saying. As one user pointed out, the recipe also called for “4 hours of refrigeration,” but this home cook “only let it rest for 5 minutes?!” Laughing out loud (haha) and shaking their heads (bummer) seems to be the general reaction to this recipe.
4. But the material was calling me
The user’s decision to swap all-purpose flour for self-rising flour because “the name felt personal to her” has Reddit users laughing and scratching their heads. “It just raises so many questions,” one user wrote, while another added, “I think this is a weird joke.” Either way, using the wrong type of flour in a recipe is always a bad move.
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5. Watery mess
According to the Reddit user, their meal was ruined when they tried to add more cans of soup to a recipe that already looked too watery. “Too much liquid and then they added more liquid to fix it?” one user responded, adding: “What the hell are these people thinking!”
Related: 25 kitchen mistakes you may still be making
6. You’ll never recover from this
The user was so upset by the apparent lack of recipe instructions that they were forced to “throw away all the ingredients” and spend more money on takeaway. To make matters worse, the user “cried and never wanted to cook the recipe again.”
But instead of sympathizing with the cook, users responded in the usual spiteful way that Reddit threads tend to show: “I hate that my food is a little undercooked so I have to throw away all my ingredients and pans, burn my house down and move to a new country,” one user joked, while another added, “I’m crying too and totally depressed.” Overall, there’s no calm whatsoever.
Related: 21 Cooking Hazards That Could Lead to Disastrous Results
7. “Cream is cream, right?”
“Sour cream makes something sour? That’s surprising!” one Reddit user commented on this Reddit user’s decision to use sour cream instead of heavy cream in a pie recipe. We agree. You might be able to make it work by swapping ingredients that have similar tastes and textures. But sour cream instead of heavy cream?! Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
There are some common substitutes for cooking and baking ingredients, but this isn’t one of them.
8. I don’t know what you were expecting, bud.
This user completely ignored the recipe for scallion pancakes, which had us laughing out loud.
“This is hilarious,” wrote one Reddit user in response. “The dipping sauce is my favorite. ‘I’m pissed that there’s no black vinegar, sugar, spring onion, or chili and the black pepper and soy sauce don’t taste like they do in restaurants.'” So you’re pissed that they left out all the ingredients and it tastes bad? Does that even make sense?
9. It might be poisonous, but who cares?
I’m not a professional baker, but this user’s decision to substitute lemon-flavored essential oil for lemon and orange zest in a cookie recipe seems questionable at best and dangerous at worst.
As one Reddit user pointed out, the end result was “basically a laxative cookie.” Ouch, what a terrible idea. But at least they seemed to have fun.
Related: 10 seemingly harmless ingredients that are actually dangerous
10. Transform into a giant cookie
Once again, Reddit users are getting a good laugh out of this one-star review of a cookie recipe that swapped out a key ingredient. “It’s more like ‘the cookies turned out to have the texture of sand, but all I did was replace most of the ingredients with sand,'” one Reddit user wrote, with another adding, “Terrible is the only word I can think of.” And it’s true.
This article was originally published on Cheapism
