It’s Mental Health Awareness Month. A nationwide effort is underway to dispel long-standing stigmas about mental health issues. Historically, it has been very difficult for anyone to convince a family member to seek mental health help if they are showing signs of it. If you have an older family member with these issues, you may encounter resistance when you try to reach out to them for help.
common problems
Here at AgingParents.com, we work to advise families with age-related issues. It’s not uncommon to hear stories from adult children about their parents who are mentally ill and not getting any treatment. Or, “My mom is totally depressed and no one has ever diagnosed her.” Or, we hear stories about an elderly person who is socially isolated and depressed, and doctors tell them, “He’s just getting old.”
We are a team of nurses, lawyers and psychologists who feel that psychological guidance is often needed. In some cases, families don’t know how to deal with the issues or what to say to their elderly loved one’s doctor. Both are important to address.
Older people and the mental health context
Typically, older adults have grown up without mental illness or mental health being openly discussed. It was an unspoken topic. It was embarrassing to admit that you had emotional problems, and it was dismissed as a “weakness.” Some older adults reached adulthood without even being able to identify and name their emotions. Their generation was focused on survival. Our society had a “grin and bear it” mentality, and there was no room for talking about emotional issues. By the time some older adults reached retirement age and began experiencing life changes, loss of partners and purpose, they experienced overwhelming sadness and other emotions that they had no idea how to deal with.
progress
Participants in a walk with the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
The fact that we have a Mental Health Awareness Month shows that society’s attitudes have changed. Mental health help is now available online. Health insurance companies that previously denied claims for such treatment now cover at least some of it. Public health officials recommend that if you have a mental health problem, you should consult a trained professional. But if you have an elderly family member with emotional issues, does that get through? I don’t think a public announcement on this issue will necessarily get through to our own elderly loved ones. yeah. Rather, family and friends may be the key to convincing older adults to seek help for widespread problems such as depression.
approach
As an adult child, imagine your elderly parent always seems depressed. You may have chronic pain. I don’t want to go anywhere. You may be sleeping too much or not enough. Either you eat too much or you don’t eat enough. Most of the time they just sit there and stare, or sound very irritated and angry. All of these behaviors can be signs of depression. If families are willing to face problems head-on, they can take action.
The first step is to coordinate with other family members who agree that something must be done; otherwise, the situation will only get worse. Do your homework ahead of time. Find local mental health support resources. Make plans to meet with your aging parents or loved ones and gently explain that you’re worried about what you’re seeing and that it’s burdening you. Contact health care providers and offer to give their contact information to the elderly person. Offer to set up an appointment for them. You can’t force someone to get help, but you can try your best to persuade them.
You may also contact your loved one’s doctor if you have permission to speak to them through an advance care directive, release of information, or have been appointed a “health care proxy.” Explain what you have seen and ask the doctor to evaluate your loved one for medications that may help alleviate symptoms. Even if you do not have such permission, you can write to the doctor and explain the issues you have encountered, whether or not the doctor is available personally. At the very least, it can provide one-way communication of important, potentially life-saving information.
statistics
According to the National Council on Aging, suicide is one of the leading causes of death in the United States, and suicide rates are rising, especially among people 65 and older. Grief and loss, loneliness, chronic illness, decreased independence, and even loss of hearing or vision are all contributing factors. People experiencing these situations need the support of others to cope with it. Professional mental health providers can help motivated individuals learn new coping skills so they can regain a sense of themselves as valuable and worthy of being valued.
When it’s serious
Now, the fairly new 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline is available 24/7 anywhere in the United States. If you or a loved one is experiencing a mental health crisis, dial 988 to get help. A trained representative will answer, listen, and talk about whatever you want to talk about. This can certainly prevent suicide and help overcome the intense feelings of hopelessness and helplessness that many people experience at the time. It is not a substitute for therapy or medication. However, it can guide individuals to pursue getting other supportive help.
When Elders Refuse Help
There are certainly seniors who seem to need mental health treatment but won’t seek it. Families become extremely frustrated. They can’t get them to see a doctor or take their medication. They can choose to be miserable, and some do. At AgingParents.com, we’ve seen this scenario too many times. It becomes the family’s job to manage their own frustrations and set limits on how much time they can spend with a difficult older adult. For caregivers facing this issue, it’s just as important to take care of yourself and your emotions as it is to meet the needs of your aging relative.
summary
- Mental health awareness is now ‘important’ and there is more public information available than ever before. Explore resources across the country and in your area for yourself and your loved ones.
- Please take depression seriously and know that the 988 helpline is there for everyone.
- Do your best to support reluctant seniors by providing them with the resources you can find to help seniors with mental health issues get help.
- Caring for a difficult elderly person can take a toll on your mental health, so be sure to take care of your own emotions as well as those of your elderly family member.
