In 1982, Glamour The recipe for engagement chicken has been published. It is said that the name came from the fact that one of the staff members made a recipe for lemon roast chicken for their boyfriends, and they all immediately proposed to each other. Really, it was an accident. These women didn’t cook the chicken trying to get engaged, it just happened. The name of Lindsay Funston’s 2016 delish recipe, “Marry Me Chicken,” was also a coincidence. After cooking skillet chicken with sun-dried tomatoes, herbs, and cream, “Ms. Funston’s video producer took one bite and declared, ‘I would marry you for that chicken!'” new york times. Again, no intention, just a reaction of joy at the name’s invocation.
But the idea of a wedding recipe took on a life of its own. If you’re at all familiar with food on TikTok or Instagram, you’ve probably encountered a deluge of “marry me” recipes. All come with cheeky captions about getting a “ring” or a warning not to make one if you’re feeling lukewarm. . Some women (and some men, but mostly women) say “there’s a legend” (yes, that’s an 8 year old legend) that if you make it for someone, they have to marry you ) and are making it for their partner.
Funston’s recipes have given rise to a world of variations, such as “Marry Me” flavors that go beyond a specific dish. There are also vegetarian riffs using beans and versions using chicken meatballs instead of chicken breast. There’s also Marry Me chicken noodle soup, orzo, gnocchi, and ramen. There are also salmon and steak alternatives. There is also an “Asian” version that uses only gochujang. Others don’t even refer to the original recipe, instead using “marry me” as code for something rich, comforting, and so delicious you won’t be able to stop eating it. But just to give one example, they don’t call these recipes “comforting and delicious pot roast.” Marriage is the way to know it’s good.
I know it’s mostly a joke, but I don’t like the prevalence of “marry me” recipes. Cooking while asking someone to marry you reaffirms that the best thing you can get from cooking for someone special is marriage. It reminds us that marriage is and should be the end goal. Despite evidence that the institution of marriage has little to do with maintaining healthy relationships, why is that still the case?
When I see “marry me” as a keyword in a recipe, I can’t help but think about the state of marriage today.in her book This American ex-wife Rhys Lentz writes about how America uses marriage and the benefits it provides in lieu of a social safety net, encouraging women to stay in unfulfilling and sometimes abusive marriages. are doing. And she has a social safety net. ” In heterosexual marriages, studies frequently show that men benefit and women die earlier due to stress from the unequal division of household labor. There are also moves to codify exactly who should get married. Right-wing politicians want to make it harder to leave a marriage by promoting no-fault divorce and trying to ban same-sex marriage again. And many disabled people cannot marry without losing government benefits.
Also, don’t miss the recipe for “Marry Me” appearing in the conversation with “Tradie Wife” content. This content idealizes a life in which the husband supports the nuclear family with his salary, and the wife stays at home, cleans, beautifies, and cooks. Everything from scratch. These women often talk about how wonderful this life is, how they no longer face the stress of work, and how fulfilling it is to support their families this way. This may all be a social media performance aimed at promoting engagement, but what kind of engagement is this? The overall message here is that marriage is the goal; That means you should give your all to achieve it.
None of these criticisms have anything to do with the original Marry Me Chicken recipe. We think this recipe deserves to be popular. But still, the namesake video producer didn’t scream, “I’ll give you a million dollars!” Or even “I love you.” If they had not imbibed marriage, in some sense, as the best that man can offer, as a guarantee of lasting service, they would not have cried out, “Marry me!” Saying you want to marry someone who makes delicious chicken dinners is the same as saying you want to continue to benefit from this dynamic.
It’s great to express your love for your partner through cooking. Part of a successful relationship is feeling valued, knowing someone is thinking about your needs, and feeling genuine joy in seeing you nourished. It’s about knowing that there is. And importantly, it requires reciprocation. Marriage as an institution has nothing to do with that. Currently, it is the most direct way for many couples to share benefits such as health care and inheritance, but at worst it can reinforce the most patriarchal and heteronormative expectations of marital life. Become. And in the best case, marriage is not the final form, but a confirmation of a good relationship.
“The truth is, you can cook this chicken for or with anyone you want. What women want changes, and so do women’s magazines.” Glamour Engagement chicken. We may not be renaming these recipes right now, but marriage doesn’t have to be synonymous with the best life. Instead, think about the moment when the taste of creamy, umami-rich, grassy, juicy chicken tasted just as good as when you took a bite. Do you have a taste for love? Do you want to be held and supported by people who care about you? Do you like the possibility of living your life on your own terms? That might be the flavor of marriage. It could easily become a divorce chicken.
