Dear Michael:
A friend recently told me that I should meditate. I don’t know what meditation is. I’m not interested in religion or spirituality or anything like that. I’m a worrier and worry a lot, and my friend thought meditation might help calm her down. What do you think?
-I’m stressed out at Bunkers Hill.
For those feeling stressed
It’s good if a friend recommends meditation. Meditation has scientifically proven health benefits, including lowering stress levels and reducing feelings of anxiety and panic. Unlike most things we enjoy, meditation has no negative side effects. There are many different ways to meditate.
Some types of meditation focus on repeating words or phrases to yourself as a way to focus your attention. Other types encourage you to center yourself by focusing on a candle flame, a point in space, or a spot on a wall.Most of us, myself included, — It’s hard to just sit still for a few minutes, so I need help relaxing. BIt’s easy if you have concentration.
Many people have a strong desire to start meditating and set a goal of 20, 30, or even 45 minutes twice a day. Good luck! Having such unrealistic expectations can lead to failure. It’s too much for most of us. I tell my clients that instead of starting with 20 minutes or more; 1 minute a day Let’s see how it goes. Tomorrow she can reach 2 minutes and the next day she can always reach 3 minutes. It is more important to start meditating. keep doing it than do it for a specific period of time.
Don’t set yourself up for failure by expecting a long meditation from the beginning. Instead, start small and work your way to success.
Many people have no idea what meditation is. A wise friend once said to me: “Meditation is sitting and listening without talking. Just listen and see what you get.” I like that definition.
You can also find a teacher, research books and YouTube videos Or even a mobile phone app..Meditation does not require religious or spiritual elements— You might just sit there and listen to your breathing and notice the thoughts running through your head. Walking meditation is also a method of meditation. Personally, I prefer walking meditation because I get very irritated when I sit for long periods of time. I no longer have to worry about the pain in my knees or lower back, and I can now concentrate on walking.
I consulted several meditation teachers, and one suggested two simple meditations that the Dalai Lama himself said were good ways to start.
Take five minutes at the beginning of each day to remember that we all want the same thing (to be happy, to be loved) and that we are all interconnected.
Take five minutes at the end of each day to breathe in and out. As you breathe in, focus on taking care of yourself, and as you breathe out, focus on taking care of others. If you are thinking about someone who is difficult to cherish, cherish them anyway.
I meditate myself, but I’m certainly not an authority on meditation. If you want to learn more about meditation, a Google search will reveal a wealth of resources. There are really great local meditation groups where you can meditate with others in person or online. Dharma Bums in University Heights is where I went to meditate and it felt welcoming and like home.
Follow your intuition and if meditation is what you need, give it a try. The worst that can happen is that you will have a few more minutes of peace, quiet, and relaxation than usual.
Michael Kimmel is a California licensed psychotherapist (LCSW 20738) based in San Diego.Above twenty five With years of counseling experience, he brings warmth, practical insight, and a healthy sense of humor to his work. You can reach us at 619-955-3311 or at: https://lifebeyondtherapy.com.
